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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?